Keep Moving Forward: Skyscraper In A Storm

 If you've ever had a major life event that should have been a call to action, but you weren't able to rise to the occasion, this episode is for you. 

We  will also discuss the importance of being adaptable. Losing weight isn't a straight road. There are twists, turns, and unexpected detours. How we respond to them makes all the difference in the end.

So if you've ever felt stuck, unsure of your next step or afraid to change  this episode's for you

Transcript

 Welcome back to the Keep Moving Forward podcast, where we talk about weight loss, personal transformation, and accountability. I'm your host Eric, AKA, the used two guy, and today we're gonna dive into two big themes that have played a major role in my journey.

If you've ever had a moment that should have been a call to action, but you weren't able to 

rise to the occasion, this episode is for you. We  will also discuss the importance of being adaptable. Losing weight isn't a straight road. There are twists, turns, and unexpected detours. How we respond to them makes all the difference in the end.

So if you've ever felt stuck, unsure of your next step or afraid to change  this episode's for you, let's get into it.  Let me take you back to the early hours of June 20th, 2017.  My family and I were on vacation in North Myrtle Beach. We were enjoying time together. Just being quiet and having a great time. 

I got a phone call while we were there that changed everything. It was about my dad.  His health had been declining for years. Diabetes, dementia, all the complications that come with a life of health struggles.  If you've been following along on my blog, I wrote in detail about the last time I saw him. In the middle of the night call I received from my mom, letting me know that he had died. 

It wasn't a shock to me that he'd passed away. In some ways it was a relief. Because he was so miserable emotionally and physically having to be in a wheelchair and having to be in a nursing home.  Right before I left for vacation, the doctor gave us the grim news that it was likely he'd have to have one of his legs removed because the diabetes had just taken a toll.  It would've been cruel to put him through that trauma because I don't think he could have fully understood what was going on. 

Everything happening with him was just getting to be too much.  He just wanted to go home where he felt safe and loved, but that was not something that could happen.  Of everything he went through, that's what still sticks with me most. When all was said and done, he wanted what was familiar around him. It,  it seems like the least someone could have at the end of their days, but that was not to be  in the end.

He died alone in the middle of the night in a nursing home bed.  Our town's not that big and I drive by that nursing home a lot, and I see the window to his room from the road,  and I think that the last thing my dad saw on this earth was the view outta that window.  Now I'm telling you all this, because even then it was not lost to me that I was heading down the same path. 

 

At that point, I was almost at my heaviest weight. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep issues, you name it.  And while I wasn't battling the same exact illnesses yet, I knew that if I didn't change something, my future was likely to look a lot like my dad's.  I think that the way this story's supposed to go. 

Is that I use my dad's death to really motivate me to action, and I turn my life around. And here I am talking to you to tell you how you can instantly use your grief to turn your life into something completely different.  But that's not what happened.  

I did go so far as to create my blog about a month after he died.  I know that I was very aware of the need for change, and yet after two posts in 2017, I just stopped. I stopped writing and I stopped working on me.  I can't honestly tell you why.  Maybe it was all too fresh. Maybe I just didn't know where to start

Maybe I needed time to process everything before I could deal with me.  But what I do remember is that for the next 15 months, I had this constant nagging feeling that something needed to change. I felt like there was a big clock ticking Just over my head.  There was this voice in my head that sounded a lot like my dad, and it just kept telling me to get moving. 

Maybe it was a midlife crisis or just a realization that time is fleeting. But for over a year, I brushed it off and tried to go on as usual.  I guess I just didn't know where to start. I tried, but I couldn't get it right, at least not right away. And in my usual fashion, I thought the solution was to make the whole thing bigger than just a few simple first steps.

I was gonna blog my journey, share it with the world, and use it as a platform to help others who were sad and struggling.  Noble intentions for sure, but looking back, I was nowhere near ready to really be open and help others. I had to help myself first. And that journey took almost eight years.  In hindsight, the only thing stopping me at any point along the way was me. 

Maybe you've had a moment like that, a sudden moment of clarity. It might not come from losing a loved one. It could come from a bad doctor's visit, a, a feeling of embarrassment or just the daily struggles of your life wearing you down,  whatever it is.  These moments force us to see things as they are.  And the real question becomes, what do we do next? 

Fast forward to September 25th, 2018, it's the day I made the commitment. I've talked about it a lot.  I started with small changes, tracking what I ate. I became more mindful. I set small goals. I wasn't perfect, but I was moving forward...

  It took me more than seven years to pick up my blog again and to start this podcast.  During those intervening years, I thought a lot about my dad. He certainly would've been proud of what I'd accomplished,  but I still had this feeling that I was supposed to be doing something more, and for a long time I actually knew what it was. 

It was helping others who struggle with the same issues I do.  So here I am sharing and being open about this journey.  If you've been following along with the blog and this podcast, you'll start to see some repetitive themes, and that's by design.  There's an acronym I'D like to leave you with today,  grace, G-R-A-C-E. 

The G is for gratitude.  The R is for resilience. The A is for acceptance, the C is for compassion, and the E is for ease.  Now in our world, these words get thrown around a lot,  but I believe they are the cornerstone of what I've been able to accomplish.  Yes, I've used the process to lose weight, but it can really be applied to any area of your life.

And let's talk a little bit about each one.  Gratitude.  Even though you're working hard,  focus on working with joy,  this can help you to avoid falling into the punishment mindset.  Be grateful that you get to do this instead of telling yourself you have to do this  resilience.  Showing up each day requires a certain amount of grit.

By being resilient and pushing on when things are tough or getting right back on track when things go sideways, you can condition yourself  to accomplish difficult things.  Acceptance.  Understand that you are not perfect When something goes wrong, instead of beating yourself up, accept that it happened and immediately regroup.

As I always say, good enough is good enough.  Compassion  by reaching out to those around you and sharing both your difficulties and successes and opening yourself up to feel the struggles of others, you can make your journey about more than just you.  This can be key when you're not feeling it or when the road feels lonely. 

Ease.  This means keeping your journey simple. It's like Occam's razor. The simplest solution is usually the right one.  The,  let's talk for just a minute about being adaptable.  One of the things I learned in the first year of my journey was consistency matters above all. S.  And I lean into repetition of each day, like a man possessed. 

I felt like I had good reason not to deviate at all. I was seeing progress, I was feeling good. But around the one year mark, I was also starting to feel the need to do more, to mix it up, to change a little bit,  to begin going back to something I did quite a bit when I was in my late twenties  run.  Picking up my old hobby again after 20 years felt like a great way to silence the used to guy.

And reclaim something I once loved to do.  At the same time, I was kind of afraid,  what if I messed things up?  What if I took my eye off the ball and wound up undoing all the progress I'd made?  And this is where a lot of us can get stuck when something's working or when it's not working.  Even if we know we want change, we get scared. 

But weight loss, just like life isn't a straight path. I had to learn that you can't become rigid.  Let me give you an analogy of sorts.  Skyscrapers are designed to be flexible. This flexibility lets them move when large gusts of wind or earthquakes happen. And while it may seem counterintuitive, that flexibility is what makes the building strong.

It the whole structure was rigid. It would snap off during a big storm or earthquake. We need to be like the skyscraper, willing to be flexible to pivot, to evolve.  So I made a decision I would start running again,  but I would do it on my own terms. So I set some guidelines for myself, and here are the guidelines I followed. 

I wouldn't track the speed or the distance I ran.  I wouldn't compete with myself and go out every day trying to beat the day before.  I would keep it enjoyable if I wasn't running with a smile. I shouldn't be doing it.  I added in a ton of walk breaks, and I took it very easy. In the early days,  I didn't set a number of days that I was gonna run.

I went when I felt like it, and if I didn't feel like it, I didn't go.  My diet also remained my primary focus. Everything I had done on Weight Watchers in those first 12 months, I kept it as it was. I just added in running as a bonus.  These guidelines ultimately made all the difference for me. They gave me the freedom to explore something new without fear of falling into the same old traps I'd usually fallen into.

Where I would go out there and try to run 50 days in a row or compete with myself every day, or do silly things like sign up for a marathon four months out and try to train myself into shape. I had done those things quite a few times over the years, and I was determined to approach things differently this time.

And you know what?  With these changes and these guidelines. I ended up falling in love with it again. I listened to my body and didn't make the whole process a stressor.  Now since then, I've completed two 50 K trail races with my son. Something I never could have imagined in 2017. And even sitting here now thinking about the work and time it took to take on that kind of a challenge seems a bit astonishing to me. 

But getting to do those events with my son has meant so much. I know we've both made memories that will last forever.  Please note that running's not something that comes natural to me. I'm no gazelle, and I basically do it on guts and effort, but it gives me joy.  And over the past few months, I faced another pivot in my journey.

Last year I got a Peloton bike for my wife. I used it a few times and I really felt in love with writing that thing.  I only do the experience rides, which are in places all over the world, and this winter's been a bit rough weather-wise, and so I found myself going downstairs to that Peloton. It really got a hold of me. 

I'll say at first I felt guilty. I started to feel the pull to the basement instead of out to the road. More and more, I'd find myself looking forward to going downstairs and getting on the bike instead of going out for a run.  And just to show you, there's room to learn. I even remember asking my wife if it was okay that I was biking more than running because for some reason I felt like I needed someone else's approval to make changes. 

So even after all this time, I.  I still struggle with the idea of changing something that I've gotten used to.  Now I now go back to running like I was at some point, but I'm still enjoying riding the bike in my basement, so I'm just going to do that.  And this summer I'm gonna go outside and do some long rides on my regular bike.

Funny thing is I'm probably better at biking than running. I guess all those hours of riding bikes when I was a little kid around my neighborhood did something. And maybe that's part of the joy it reminds me of being a kid.  So no matter what, I'm gonna lean into it. I'm gonna embrace that change and I'm gonna move forward. 

So what's the big lesson in all of this? You have to be open to being adaptable. Whether it's adjusting to a major wake up call or making small shifts in your routine, flexibility is key to sustain progress.  Let's talk about some ways you can stay agile in your journey.  Unlike me, don't be afraid to pivot, but worked in the beginning.

Might not work forever, and that's to be expected. If you feel stuck or if things just aren't snapping in,  try something else. Change your meal plan, shift your routine. Give yourself permission to evolve instead of staying rigid and having your whole plan become extinct.  While I talk about we watchers a lot, it, it may not be for everyone, and that's okay.

You have to work a plan that works for you.  Set guidelines not restrictions. Think about creating those guidelines that give you structure while allowing flexibility, and be sure to write them down.  Remember, consistency beats perfection.   Your journey is unique.

Comparisons a killer,  someone else might be doing things differently, losing weight faster, running marathons while you're just starting to jog. It doesn't matter. Your path is yours alone. You need to trust yourself. At the end of the day. Listen to that little voice inside  you do know what is best for you.

If you feel called to try something new,  go for it. 

The only way to fail is to quit.  And a note to myself, you don't need someone else's approval to change things up.  Some closing thoughts, personal loss, big life moments. They can be wake up calls. Grief can provide perspective and motivation, but sometimes getting to a point where you can make positive progress doesn't happen on the schedule. We'd like  your weight loss journey's, not a straight road. Be willing to pivot when necessary.

Make those changes, find something new that gets you excited. It's okay to lean into that. Be like the skyscraper in a storm. Flexible. 📍   Thanks for tuning into the Keep Moving Forward podcast. If this episode resonates with you, share it, subscribe and check out. Use two guide.com for more insights. Until next time, keep moving forward.